tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333774250225175729.post2762597535387975650..comments2023-09-28T08:30:13.361-07:00Comments on Thoughts and Ponderings: Look at That, Man! [Chapter 27]Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333774250225175729.post-5954027381876921582012-02-04T04:31:22.523-08:002012-02-04T04:31:22.523-08:00Jay - thanks for the helpful feedback. You're...Jay - thanks for the helpful feedback. You're absolutely right - your suggested changes ARE an improvement to this vignette.Dr. Mohamedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13673867214475179890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4333774250225175729.post-50425275297741587492012-01-20T08:30:02.758-08:002012-01-20T08:30:02.758-08:00Great stuff, as usual!
I will offer a little crit...Great stuff, as usual!<br /><br />I will offer a little criticism, as I haven't done yet as of now.<br /><br />Remove and replace the tag "hissed." You can't physically hiss those words of dialog. If he hissed something like "shhhhhh" or "stop" (anything with a hiss sound) it would work.<br /><br />Also remove the dialog tag at the very end "marveled." It's unnecessary. Maybe use an action tag there.<br /><br />"Look at that, man!" Lee pointed with his machine gun. "Jesus would have..."Jay Noelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04757777693161610861noreply@blogger.com